Into the West

I'm going to handle this month's theme a bit differently than I normally would. I will be shamelessly copying the format of one of my favorite bloggers, and probably doing a much poorer job of it at the same time. While the subject is personal and relatively recent, I am now at the point where I am quite comfortable talking about it. Feel free to ask for clarification, offer suggestions, or make comments.

The Setting

December of 2009. I had already been in a weird funk that I blogged about previously. The first week of December marked the end of a job I had been doing for several months. November and October had been extremely busy for me. At one point I was even working three jobs at the same time (not a feat I hope to repeat anytime soon). So I went from this crazy whirlwind of activity to what seemed like a vacuum of things going on in my life.

At first it was nice to catch my breath, but it wasn't long before I realized how unlikely it was that I would be able to fill up the next two weeks with work. To make matters worse, the cruise I was hoping to go on with several friends from college (including one roommate who I suspect might be family) didn't pan out. So I was left alone for virtually two weeks.

Frail

During this time period I had also been chatting with a few guys on OkCupid. I wasn't too into them, especially since they seemed to have an endless desire to chat, but never wanted to take things further. One afternoon I was cuddled up for a nap when I heard that ubiquitous ping from my iPhone. Wondering what piece of trash had managed to make it past my spam filter this time, I stuck one hand out of my blanket and pulled the phone off the nightstand.

1 New Private Message from: beach_stud496

That was the subject of the message awaiting me. I wasn't immediately ecstatic. I'm not really the "beach stud" type. In fact, anyone who has a name like that is probably a bit out of my league. Nonetheless, I was curious, so I pulled up his profile to have a look.


"Look at this guy, he's ripped."

"Perfect face..."

"Nice sunglasses."

"That shirt is so tight!"

Having clearly established his physical prowess, I moved on to the meat of his profile. He was a college student working on his PhD.

Educated & Smart - check.
He wanted kids and a family - check.
He liked to cuddle, and could enjoy a good night in - check.
He was an avid volleyball player, played daily, and could probably get a pickup game together at any time with just a few texts - no check.

He seemed to talk a lot about the outdoors. The hiking and camping that he mentioned sounded great, I love to do that kind of stuff. Generally speaking though, I am not into sports. I just assumed it would be a deal breaker for him. Even though he didn't seem to be an ideal match, he did seem to be a fairly decent guy. This meant that he at least deserved the courtesy of a response (unlike the creeps and weirdos out there, who I just block). So I typed one up:

Dear Friend,

Thanks for the note. While I do enjoy the occasional hike or camping trip, I'm just not that into volleyball, or really the beach in general. I might be able to come watch a game every once in awhile, but I really don't think I would enjoy it that much. Best of luck in your continued search for Mr. Perfect. -El Genio

As the message swooshed away into the interwebs, I cuddled up in my blanket and went back to sleep, wondering if I would ever have a chance at a real relationship.