Several events during the past two weeks have combined with the weather and change of seasons to bring memories of him flooding back. These memories come on the heels of what was technically my third relationship. It was the same story as #2 in many ways. Great guy, good attraction, but when I tried to picture us in the long term it just wasn't there. This time it was slightly more frustrating because we had been friends for a long time before we dated. We had a lot in common, and it still didn't feel right.
I don't mean any of this in a self-loathing, sad, or depressed kind of way. In fact, coming out of relationship #3 I am probably the most comfortable with "singlehood" that I have ever been in the last three years.
And yet, here I am with all of these thoughts of him circling around in my head. Sure, he wasn't perfect - but I desperately wanted the whole package, good and bad. Part of me worries that I'll be holding every guy after him to an unreachable standard. But I've never been a fan of the idea of "settling" for someone more practical or attainable.
Where am I going with all of this? I'm not really sure, other than the fact that I wanted to explore the idea of him being on my mind so much. We had some great moments, and I'll be lucky if I ever find something similar with someone else.
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1 comments:
I know the feeling. It's frustrating. But, I guess all we can do is just keep going, trying, looking, and maybe one day we will be caught off our guard? Thats what I am hoping for at least. Good luck to you :)
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