I had the following chat earlier today with a friend from work. We were testing out facebook's new support for jabber, which means that facebook chat now works with ichat. Xavier is both married and Mormon, tho I met him through work and not through church.
Xavier: yo yo
El Genio: word
ga ga ro ma ma
Xavier: lol, how did I know that is your favorite song

have you made it your ringtone yet?
El Genio: ooooh tempting
Xavier: did I teach you how to make custom ringtones on itunes? for your iphone?
El Genio: i googled it and found out awhile ago, I can't live without my custom ringtones
Xavier: I have Vampire Weekend and Death Cab for Cutie as mine right now
El Genio: I have 'Sweet Dreams' as my ringtone right now, but i think I need a defying gravity one next
Xavier: lol, if I didn't know you and didn't watch those anti-use of the word "gay" commercials, I would say "that's gay"
ha
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At this point my heart skipped a beat. Xavier is a facebook friend, so he has had unrestricted access to the HRC box on my profile, my facebook note, and my 'interested in' status. Despite all of that, we have never talked about my coming out, nor has he ever given any direct indication that he read the note or noticed the change. On two different occasions prior to my coming out, Xavier and I were driving in the car and he pointed out an HRC bumper sticker and asked me if I knew what it was. I played dumb both times and he explained what it meant to me. I don't know if he remembers and connects both times or not.
So at this point I'm thinking that he is finally trying to talk about it. He must be trying to tell me that he knows I'm gay, and that he recognizes that using that word in an offensive way could be hurtful to me. Picking up where we left off:
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El Genio: lol
Xavier: so you got any Valentine lady for the weekend?
El Genio: i believe the correct term for this weekend is singles awareness day
Xavier: LOL, so true
***-----------------------***
So I guess he wasn't trying to talk about it after all. :/ Every time we talk he asks me if there are any special ladies in my life. You would think people would eventually put two and two together, but I guess that isn't always the case.
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5 comments:
I often use "Sweet Dreams" for a tap warm-up; its nice steady beat (in practically 1/4 timing) is perfect for the beginners.
You're asking a lot of the most dense group of people on the planet.
Despite everything that is on my Facebook, I still have Mormons asking me if I am dating girls and crap like that.
Usually the dating girls line is pretty standard small talk. I think Xavier was giving you a chance to come out to him. Perhaps now would be a good time to explain your appreciation for GaGa and Elphaba.
There is a good chance you could be write Boyd, I'm honestly not sure. This particular individual can also impact my future ability to get jobs, so the situation is somewhat delicate.
Of course, I have a similar friend in Provo to which that excuse does not apply. One of these days I'll figure it out. Somehow
Heh. It's interesting. I've left all sorts of little hints across my facebook profile, but I still haven't selected the "interested in men" box. I think that (maybe) will be the final step in coming out -- and maybe I'm not ready for that. For some reason.
I had an even more amusing exchange with a friend... I got a text from an unknown number at 11:30 asking if I was downtown. It was a from a local area code, and since my #'s long distance, they obviously knew me. I replied that I wasn't, and a minute later, "I'm offended that you never came out to me!" Well then. We launched into an argument via text about whether I should've come out to her at her baby shower, the three or four birthdays we'd last seen each other at, and a litany of other "not about me" special occasions.
I was amused. ;-)
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