Into the West

In my never-ending quest to stay busy, today I hiked 11 miles. The elevation gain was about 1500 feet. I probably did about 2/3 of the gain in the first mile or so, which included some alternate trails and some bushwhacking. I'm tired, but not completely exhausted like I was two weeks ago when I did 1200 feet in .7 miles. Being in between jobs I have had time to start regularly running again, and it seems to be helping.


I had a long conversation with Mom this week, which started out a lot like an ecclesiastical interview. "Are you praying? Are you reading your scriptures? Are you sure you don't want to talk to your bishop about this?" I still pray occasionally. I go back and forth on this one. I would like to believe, I really would. But in many ways, the heavens have been silent for a long long time. I'm not reading my scriptures, and despite trying to get me to promise to read them, I have no plans to do so. I haven't benefited from scripture reading for years, so I'll be putting my time to better uses. As for the Bishop, I actually wouldn't mind talking to him at this point if he were to request an interview. While I was still attending church I had no intention of being labeled and then marginalized. Now that I'm no longer attending though, I think I'm comfortable enough to explain exactly how things are. But as I explained to Mom, what is the bishop going to tell me that I don't already know? In a best case scenario, I'm going to get a pamphlet telling me to stay away from people with "SSA" and to not focus on my gayness. Anyways, the whole church ship sailed a long time ago. And then just for fun Mom reminded me that she did not see these type of relationships as being able to last forever. Well the truth is, I want no part of any type of forever that involves the breakup of these relationships and families. And yes, I am already aware that any future relationship I have will have to stand purely on me and my partners efforts. We won't get the luxury of a sealing, of a church, or the support of family. She said she didn't even understand how gay people can have a family. I explained that we could adopt (my personal preference at the moment) and that if some couples really want to they can have a surrogate mother. I'm actually open to the latter idea, it would just take a little bit of convincing from Mr. Perfect. Anyway, the whole conversation was out of love, and I think they are still coming to terms with this, which is fine. They have more time. Unfortunately, maybe even a lot more time.


I need wing men. My reward for today's hike was supposed to be dinner at the Abbey (the best gay bar in the world according to Logo). I wasn't planning on drinking because I wanted to scope the place out, and because I had to drive myself home. It was so crowded that eating at the bar didn't really seem practical, and there wasn't really a good solo table available, so I ended up just walking around for a bit and then left. I don't understand how people meet other people at bars. It just seems like you have to have a good group of friends to go with, and even then, how do you get approached? There were lots of good groups of friends I saw, which is exactly what I need, but have no idea how to get. Maybe next time I will try Fiesta Cantina and see if the atmosphere is a little more conducive to a meal.

And finally, to those who ground me: take a message back from me! Tell them how I am defying gravity!