One of the thoughts that has repeatedly crossed my mind over the last few weeks is how lucky I am. I'm not really referring to financial or physical blessings, but rather, how things have played out in my life. Over the past few months I have heard several new stories of gay Mormons, and the struggles they are currently facing, or have faced in the past. So far (knock on wood) I have been able to avoid a lot of the negative experiences that others have had after coming out. I never had to deal with being kicked out of my house, or trying to hide part of my life while I was at BYU. I never had to agonize over the decision of whether or not serve a mission, or how to hide a core characteristic from my companions. In short, I have been lucky to come to terms with my sexuality at a time when I can fully embrace it, without having to really worry about the immediate implications for my life.
Of course, I still have my share of challenges. And on the flip side of things, I also missed out on a lot of time that could have been spent looking for my eternal companion. I missed the chance to have different friends, different dates, and a whole different college experience. On some days I would trade everything I currently have to be able to go back and be out at 18. On other days, I feel content and very lucky to be where I'm at.
So is my glass half empty, or half full? Most of the time I do a pretty good job of believing the latter. I'm sure there will be lots of opportunities in my future, and I need to stay positive to take advantage of them.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Great post. I feel the same way. No life goes by without struggles, but on the moho scale I consider myself very lucky. While some days I feel like Mormonism has robbed my life of so much (like emotional stability and relationships with people in general, at least until I was aged 25), it has added to who I am today; and that I would not trade for anything in the world.
Good attitude Genio. Accepting yourself definitely leads to a healthier, happy life.
You are lucky, and I admire your attitude. I like that you are forward looking and not dwelling on the past - think I might try to be that way more. Thanks.
I'm curious about your use of the phrase "eternal companion". Do you still adhere to some of the doctrine of the church?
C
C: Yes. I suppose I should clarify that when I use the term eternal companion I am referring to a male. Other than that though, I have always liked the idea of being together forever with whoever that special person ends up being. Maybe I'm overly naive, or overly influenced by too many Disney movies. Either way, definitely something I want.
Post a Comment